I thought I lost my anchor.
My anchor pushed and challenged me to better myself and to strive for excellence in all I do. My anchor loved me unconditionally and was proud of me, even my imperfections. My anchor was my voice of reason, voice of positivity, voice of self-care and happiness. My anchor showed me kindness and compassion.
Without my anchor the clouds filled the sky and the storm raged. Days, weeks, months passed when the only achievement came from staying afloat and being able to again face the storm.
Sometimes getting through is a Herculean achievement.
During this dark turbulent storm, glimpses of sunshine could occasionally be spotted in the cloud filled sky. The laughter of our children, their achievements and joy.
I would soon fill the sky with storm clouds once more. Determined and desperate as I was to obliterate true feelings and emotions. These feelings could so easily overwhelm and shatter my illusion of being okay.
As the storm raged, I began to realise that my illusion of okay was damaging not just me but our children. The very beings I was trying so desperately protect by being okay, who had already endured so much.
I pushed back the clouds and slowly but surely allowed myself to feel. To feel without hiding behind the clouds or behind some crutch.
I became my own anchor and once again the anchor for our children.
I am The Anchor.